How to use bacon to make your life incredible and amazing

Attach bacon to your hard drive. Every time you download a large file, the smell will be glorious.

In the event of a grizzly bear attack, throw bacon to distract the bear and make your getaway. If your bacon is too precious to throw to a bear, eat it quickly to enjoy a last meal as you are being slaughtered.

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How to Be So Lame That You’re Actually Cool

First of all, you need to get the right idea of what you want to be, exactly. Napoleon Dynamite is the basic picture. He is the lamest person ever, yet he is extreme cool. Be more like him, and you’ll do fine.

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