Humor

Read the of My Jokes and Quotes.

My Questions

When surgeon operate on old people, do they listen to hip op music?

When I pilot goes on holiday, does that mean he takes off work?

If someone was caught stealing hay, could you bale them out of jail?

Does helping someone steal a handbag make me an accessory?

If you give someone weed at a trance party, does that make it a transplant?

Why was the fireplace happy? It was stoked.

Some people end their sentences with a preposition, but what for?

My Statements

When we both had the same idea, someone told me “Great minds think alike.” I told them that great minds don’t compare themselves to other great minds.

Making a CD-R is like going to the gym: you get ripped and feel the burn.

Time travel is so last week.

I hate clich├ęs with a passion.

I dropped a bottle of spring water and it bounced. True story.

In hindsight, I wish I’d had eyes on the back of my head.

I play the mouth organ, but I would never harm Monica.

I read astronomers have found alcohol in space. Wanna bet that the first astronauts to be there will be students?

A doctor a day keeps the apple away.

Artists can put paint on a palette, but that doesn’t make it palatable.

If you go to France and talk about kilograms, they won’t understand you because they’ll think you’re speaking in tongues…

When a friend yawns, I say “Yeah, you said it” in agreement.